


Only halfway gone

by armethaumaturgy



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Blood, M/M, Zombie Apocalypse, fun for the whole family, zombie!ray
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 02:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4504569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armethaumaturgy/pseuds/armethaumaturgy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes it was easy to forget, to pretend Ray was just another survivor, traveling with Joel in search of other people and safety. //</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A series of one-shot's from <a href="http://fullunadulteratedart.tumblr.com/">fullunadulteratedart</a>'s zombie AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> So earlier today I saw [fullunadulteratedart](http://fullunadulteratedart.tumblr.com/)'s zombie AU (check it out!) and i couldn't help but write for it! i seriously love it

“Man, this place is a dump.”

Joel glanced at his companion, rising an eyebrow and choking back a giggle, because _really_? “I haven’t noticed,” he replied, sarcastically. He kicked a small heap of cloth in front of him, folding his arms as he watched it.

“Every place’s a dump now,” Ray mumbles, looking at the messed-up pile with more disgust than Joel expected. His eyes met Joel’s and he grinned, the movement making the corners of his eyes crinkle cutely. Which is fucking weird, Joel reminded himself, looking into those dead eyes. The purely _off_ color, somewhere between pristine white and almond, always managed to put him off, because it reminded him – rather painfully – that the boy he traveled with wasn’t alive. Not anymore. “But hey,” Ray continued, somehow managing to pull him out of his spiraling train of thoughts. “You’re here, so it balances out.”

Joel felt his face heating up and he smacked Ray’s arm. Damn this boy for being able to fluster him so easily. He didn’t think he would even be able to get flustered, what with the whole world fucked over, but lo and behold, here came Ray with his easy-going flirting and jokes and Joel was left with red cheeks and a small smile that somehow wormed its way onto his face.

Sometimes it was still unbelievable that Ray was a zombie, one of the mindless, sheep-like monsters roaming every street. Except he wasn’t; he couldn’t be, not when Joel turned around and saw him grinning in satisfaction, stuffing his mouth with what little remained in his bag of chips. He’d been eating that bag the whole day, saying ‘There’s limited chips left in the world, I can’t eat them all at once! I won’t have any after that!’ when Joel asked why he was eating them so slowly.

It was hard to believe Ray to be a zombie when he was so witty and such a good company. Sometimes Joel caught himself staring at the boy, looking past the blood that was caked into his shirt (he always complained about that) and dead eyes. Sometimes it was easy to forget, to pretend Ray was just another survivor, traveling with Joel in search of other people and safety. But then he’d look at Ray’s shoulder and see the small chunk of flesh missing underneath the torn shirt collar. It was scabbed over, but still unmistakably there, faintly green teeth marks.

Joel’s small smile faded when he imagined the future. When Ray started showing the _real_ symptoms, when he’d stop wanting chips and other junk food that he loved so much and instead start craving human flesh like the other zombies they’d encountered. When Ray wouldn’t see him as friend anymore, but as prey instead. When he finally jumped him, dead eyes holding no regret and sharp teeth ready to sink into his neck. When they would, would it hurt? Ray never told him about how he got bit, always somehow managed to turn the conversation in some other direction. Joel imagined it would, he had been bitten by dogs a few times and it wasn’t very pleasant.

He wasn’t sure whether he could protect himself when that time came. He wasn’t sure if he could pull the trigger to get the boy off him.

“Hey, Earth to Joel!”

He shook his head and found Ray staring at him in concern, marginally closer than he remembered him being. His fingers twitched in the direction of the gun strapped to his thigh automatically, but he caught himself and relaxed it.

“You okay? You left me there for a moment,” Ray said, cocking his head to the side as if that would give him a better view of Joel. Hell, maybe it would, his glasses were pretty banged up; one of the lenses was even fully broken. Joel wondered if it bothered Ray. He only complained about it once in a while, mainly when cleaning them, because he had to make sure not to push the shattered pieces out of the frames.

“I’m fine,” Joel replied, offering a smile that he was sure didn’t make it to his eyes. Ray either didn’t see or didn’t want to push it, either way Joel was glad. Getting lost in his thoughts was his problem from the day one. It was a bad, bad habit that he scolded himself for it all the time – there was no time to dilly dally anymore.

“Ok, that’s good, because we’re at the store. God, I hope there are mints left, I just ran out,” Ray rambled, leaning up and placing a kiss on Joel’s cheek. He caught a whiff of the mint in Ray’s breath when he chuckled, going to scout the supermarket ahead just like usual.

Joel watched him ducking through a broken window. He huffed out a small laugh before following, gun ready in his hand.

That wouldn’t happen. Ray would always be Ray, no matter what the future held for them.


	2. Just another slip-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He told himself he could control it, could beat it and stay himself, but he couldn’t deny that the zombie part of himself was trying (and it was trying its damned best) to take over.

Ray was slipping.

Sometimes he would be doing something and then he’d feel like he was falling asleep (but that wasn’t the case, he hadn’t slept since the… since the bite) and he’d find himself a few minutes later, eyes trained on Joel (more specifically his neck – what was he, a vampire?) and a line of drool running from the corners of his mouth. Joel would be looking at him, half concerned and half cautious, and Ray would feel shame burning hot inside himself.

He told himself he could control it, could beat it and stay himself, but he couldn’t deny that the zombie part of himself was trying (and it was trying its damned best) to take over.

Sometimes he would catch himself when it happened; he’d shake his head furiously and somehow manage to get rid of the horrifying feeling. Sometimes he simply couldn’t, or he would be too late. He’d come to himself with Joel’s pretty, pretty eyes would be narrowed and Ray could feel his chest constricting as he wiped at his mouth furiously, eyes cast down in shame. He didn’t want to see Joel with that expression.

And he didn’t want to see Joel hurt, not by other survivors, zombies nor himself. That was, in fact, the last thing he wanted.

Once, he tried ~~asking~~ begging Joel to kill him. They’d met a group of other survivors earlier that day and they pulled guns on him before Joel explained and they left, but not without a parting gift. One of the group shot Ray’s right calf, the force of the shot making him crumple down. Joel fretted over him while the survivors left, the one who shot him snickering the whole time.

Ray didn’t let Joel know that it hurt (like a bitch), instead he pushed through the pain and pulled the bullet out in the middle of the night, biting down on his shirt as he did so he wouldn’t cry out. The bandage work could’ve been better, but what would he know? He later realized he bit through the fabric and his shirt now had a bite-sized hole. He burned the shirt and started wearing another one of the three he had. (Yes, his wardrobe was spectacular, what would you expect in an apocalypse? He was more angry about it that anyone else, probably.)

When Joel awoke it was to see Ray sitting by him with his gun, shaky fingers fiddling with it. He pushed it into Joel’s hands and for a moment, couldn’t find his voice.

_Shoot me._

Joel stared at him like he just grew a second head, confusion painted like a Monet painting on his sleepy face. _What the fuck, Ray?_

_I want you to shoot me, didn’t you hear me?_

Joel threw the gun away, somewhere where it clattered against his backpack, and pulled Ray down against his chest. Ray fought back, suddenly panicking because he couldn’t he so close to Joel, what if he slipped, _what if he fucking slipped and bit Joel holy shit Joel let me go-_

_Shh, calm down, you won’t bite me,_ Joel whispered to him, kissing the top of his head and holding him as close as he could, fingers playing with the short hair on the nape of his neck. He kept it up until Ray’s sobbing subsided (he wasn’t even sure when he started crying; neither of them was) and he finally stopped whispering _please, please shoot me_ under his breath.

_What happened?_

Ray knew he would ask, and he had prepared a speech that would absolutely convince Joel that he was better off without him, the only problem was actually saying it. Thankfully (or maybe not, Ray wasn’t sure at the time), Joel had a lot of patience and waited until Ray could somehow choke out, _If it weren’t for me, you could’ve gone with them. They would’ve taken you into their group._

Joel looked at him with the most determined look Ray had ever seen before saying, resolutely, _I would take you over them any time, Ray._ Ray would deny there were tears in his eyes hearing that, but there was no one to deny it to, since Joel was right there and could clearly see them. _Besides, I wouldn’t want to be in a group with that guy that shot you._

Ray cracked a smile and didn’t try to get Joel to shoot him again.

Until now.

They just set up a camp and Ray went to collect as many sticks as he could so the fire would last them the whole night, but on his way back, he blacked out. And when he came back to himself, hunger pounding in the back of his mind like never before and Joel pinned to the ground underneath him, he knew this was the line he had drawn for himself, and he was crossing it.

Joel laughed, tense but trying to play his lapse as a joke. “If you wanted to cuddle or have sex, you could’ve just said so, you know.”

Ray knew he wanted to play it off, wanted to pretend like nothing was wrong and they could cuddle and sleep and wake up like this didn’t happen, but Ray didn’t want that. He had Joel pinned down, for fuck’s sake! He was _this_ close to biting him, maybe even eating him whole!

“Joel, please,” he whispered, arms barely holding him up as they trembled on either side of Joel’s head. “Please, don’t make me do it myself.”

Joel’s arms came to wind themselves around Ray’s neck and pull him down so he rested on top of Joel instead of hovering rather awkwardly over him. Joel was choking back when he said, “I can’t.”

And Ray didn’t want him to cry, he just wanted the man he loved to be safe. Even from himself. But when he stayed wrapped up in Joel’s arms the whole night, the fire they had planned totally forgotten, he wasn’t sure whether he could do it himself.

Not when he had someone as amazing as Joel to spend time with.

He was just selfish like that, he supposed.

 


End file.
